First Love

I know many people who just don't get a kick out of Valentine's Day. I used to be one of them, and I have to be honest in saying that I thought having a husband would change my perspective on it, but really, that hasn't been the case.
Don't hear me wrong! I love my husband and I love our "married people" moments together, but the ultimate satisfaction is not and never will be found in him. Not only is that a lot of pressure to place on a person, but it is the completely wrong reason and way to pursue a relationship with another human.
As it is written, "Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else will be added to you" (Matthew 6:33), this also applies with relationships, big time! When we put our all, and our hearts into people, we will be missing out on the happiness our heart can truly have.

Today, at MCRC we talked about the famous Ephesians 5:21-33. You know, the one that makes people squirm and that society is always fighting against. God's plan for relationships is all laid out here. The whole premise of a wife "submitting" to her husband make the feminist throw an outrage. The fact that a man has to love his wife (and only 1 woman) is sure blurred in the culture we dwell in. But do you actually know where those words, "submit", "respect" and "love" come from? Do you know their meanings in this context?

First of all, to understand the grand plan, we have to realize that this relationship thing goes both ways. Wives must CHOOSE to respect their husbands, and husbands must CHOOSE to love their wives, no matter how stupid a guy might be, or how stubborn a woman can get. This is an everyday choice. This is where our society falls incredibly short. There is this stigma of "well, if you don't like it, just get out of it." Unfortunately this is becoming the norm - both in the secular world and in the Christian world.

Secondly, there is mutual respect. When you get to know the others around you, whether this be a married relationship, friendships, coworkers, authorities, etc. this should be an easy thing to do. We see the disrespect that happens all around us - most recently and most well-known about is with law enforcement, as Pastor Todd talked about this morning. Do you know what that person goes through everyday? Or what they face when they get home? Or how that kid is bullied in school? Or what that kid faces when they go home? When you can stop dehumanizing everyone and see them for the hearts they really are, you can respect so much more.

When you see the pressures on your husband to provide for a family and be the "cornerstone" (as the word "head" here means) to the foundation of your family, you can begin to appreciate who he is. When a husband can see his wife for all that she has to put up with on a daily basis, with raising children, dealing with "backseat mothering" (this is my phrase for other moms telling you how to raise your children), getting meals put together, etc, he can really put into perspective what it is like for her and respect her.

We CHOOSE (that word we love to hate) to do this.

Lastly, there needs to be a common motive. If Christ is not your number one, your everything, your first and only TRUE love, you should not pursue a person to be that for you. It is so, incredibly unfair and you will be a year down the road, disappointed and left more alone than you thought you were before. No husband and no wife should have to be expected to meet the needs of your heart that only God can. That relationship will be absolutely miserable for you all. Christ MUST be in the center of it. When you are disappointed in your spouse, where would you run? Usually your friends or "someone else". This is toxic. When you run to God instead, that is something that can grow.

Friends, PLEASE hear me for what I am saying. Chase after God full force, and He will fulfill the needs He knows you have. Life will be much happier when you do and realize this!

Singles - as you wait patiently on the Lord to provide, remember He knows what you need right now. What are you doing to pursue Him fully to show your heart for Him rather than trying to cram a person into that lonely space? I can tell you that having a spouse is wonderful, but if I hadn't straightened out my relationship with Christ and realized His priorities for me, our marriage would be an absolute mess. When He feels like you're ready, He will provide. If you doubt that, you have more work to do. Wait while being active for your True Love - Christ. He will be my first love always and forever. It is everything.